Dumbledore Turnt Up for Christmas
by wolfx555
Summary: Racy Dumbledore fanfiction. Takes place at a Christmas Feast, involves Snape and Harry. Very graphic, not for kids! Give it a shot! Thank you!


It was Christmas Eve and Dumbledore was sitting at the table with maybe a dozen of his students and a handful of Professors. He glanced around at the others idly, taking another swig out of his wine cup. _When will these dumb ass bitches be finished eating?_ He thought to himself. The only thing that interested Dumbledore was his wine cup at this point. Well, that and the increasingly sexy looking fellow wizards around the table. _Omigod,_ he thought ruefully. _Look at how Harry's grown…. _"Mmmmm," Dumbledore purred aloud, his appreciation simply spilling over into a soft moan.

"Did you say something… Professor?" Severus asked nasally.

_Only asking when I can shove my hard cock in your tight ass, Professor._ Dumbledore thought. "Nothing, my dear," he said.

Professor Snape and Dumbledore had been lovers for thirteen years now. Dumbledore had been Severus' rebound lover ever since Lily rejected the poor gay bastard, and the relationship had lasted. Severus smiled at Dumbledore from the table, and whispered something into his wine cup.

Three seconds later Dumbledore got the message Severus has spelled to him. "I can't wait for the after-party, old man."

Dumbledore let his eyes flicker close between his half-moon spectacles. Just the whisper of Severus' voice had gotten him half-hard already.

Harry Potter, that sexy beast Dumbledore had been checking out earlier, chose that moment to pipe up. "Professor, when is the desert?"

The sound of Harry's voice made Dumbledore hornier than even what Severus could do. By now, any House Elf crawling along under the table would be able to see his stiff, 11-inch wand poking through his robes.

Dumbledore took another long drawl of his wine. He normally didn't drink so much, but it was Christmas, and for fuck's sake, no one would know he had spelled his wineglass to be self-refilling. Dumbledore had lost track of how much he had drank at about cup sixteen, and he was feeling the wine's beautiful affect, especially on his libido.

"Of course, dear boy," Dumbledore replied to Harry, positively purring. He waved his wand- his _real_ wand- and made cock-shaped delicacies appear on the table. Iced banana pops, fizzing broomsticks, and other large cylindrical shapes were especially Dumbledore's favorite items to eat. There wasn't any silverware left on the table, so his fellow dinner companions were forced to eat the food by simply shoving it in their mouths. This reminded Dumbledore of an orgy he had gone to in the 80's, and the memory was driving him simply insane. Ron, Harry's red-headed oaf of a friend, was seductively licking the white spun frosting off a banana. Severus was sucking on a large iced pineapple rod, and Harry was tonging the fizzing broomstick with enthusiasm. _That boy has a tongue like a puppy dog's tail_, Dumbledore thought. He was pretty sure by now he could not get any stiffer or any harder.

Dumbledore had realized he was becoming increasingly drunk- but not so drunk as he got liquor dick. Dumbledore knew when to push it to the golden boundary.

He willed his beautiful hardness away with a thought of Professor McGonagall. _Later,_ he promised his hard little friend. He cock quivered in response, almost in a nod.

Dumbledore stood suddenly and clapped his hands together. "The meal is over!" he announced.

Harry, that raunchy boy, took a suddenly large bite of his broomstick with those words. Dumbeldore saw him do it, and unbidden, his cock rose again, like a vampire from the grave. His schlong parted even his robes, as Dumbledore was not a fan of wearing underwear.

_Maybe I crossed the golden boundary_, Dumbledore thought ruefully, as his sexual man stick pointed towards his dinner companions, hunky wizards and unnattracitve witches and all. Dumbledore didn't even see those ugly cunts of witches. All he saw were those hot men staring and his loveliness.

"Dumby, not again!" Severus shrieked in panic, with a surprisingly gay hand-flick.

Dumbledore's eyes flicked over to his irate lover. Just then Severus launched himself across the table, mouth landing on Dumbledore's dick with a wet squishing noise.

"Uuuuuhhhhnnngggggghhnnn" Dumbeldore groaned. _To hell with it_, he thought, raising his want. "Expecto Horniness!"

The atmosphere changed from an awkwardly-sexually charged situation to a purely sexually charged situation. _Just like the 80's all over again_, Dumbledore thought, looking around through his drunken, sex driven stupor.

Harry clamored onto the table and threw off his robes, cock hard and ready to play. Ron ripped off his mother's Christmas sweater with one hand and Hermione's bra with the other. Hagrid had taken to running around in a stone-cold need-to-get-laid craze. Unfortunately, even in all this magic nobody wanted to touch a giant with a cock that big or a man so crabs-ridden. All around him, students and faculty members were acting out their most violent, sexually passionate acts.

Severus just then did something quite magical with his tongue and Dumbledore lost track of time in a beautiful haze.

But it was not Severus Dumbledore wanted latched onto his cock. He wanted something younger, firmer, and three feet to his left, prancing about on the table like a My Little Pony cosplayer. Dumbledore pushed Severus's greasy head off of his ding dong, and Severus fell back from deepthroating the Headmaster of Hogwarts. In fact, Severus fell off table. _Time to get turnt up,_ Dumbledore thought in the most magical manor, staggering drunkenly on top of the table, throwing plates and goblets alike to get to the Boy Who Lived.

"Harry", he rasped, grabbing that young buck from behind.

"Professor," Harry gasped, his eyes lighting in shock.

They didn't stay that way long though, as Dumbledore penetrated Harry within the next second deep within the butthole. Harry's eyes filled with pleasure at the penetration, as Dumbledore knew they would.

"Oh, _God_," Dumbledore moaned as he began thrusting. Harry was screaming in time to his thrusts, and blindly Dumbledore thrust a hand forward to give Harry a reach-around. Harry's cock filled his hand and he began pumping him away like mad.

Severus barreled into the two lovers with the power of a Hippogriph in heat. "Dumbledore is mine!" he hissed, grabbing Harry by the cock and wretching his ass quite manually off Dumbledore's. The commotion had brought Harry to climax, and he sputtered and moaned and shouted out Lord Voldemort's name in vain, spilling his seed all across the other men. Severus didn't waste any time, however, and in the next second, Dumbledore found himself laid back on the table, with Severus' angry eyes locked on his own. "Time to pay," he snarled, forcefully mushroom-stamping Dumbledore across the face with his cock.

This aroused Dumbledore even more. He knew his lover knew exactly how he liked it, and needed it: Rough and violent.

"Oh please, oh please, oh please," Dumbledore repeated like a mantra. Severus bit one of Dumbledore's nipples hard, drawing blood, then roughly turned him over, entering him with his own long, spindly dick.

Severus did his own type of reach around on the Headmaster, the kind that got Dumbledore off better than none. Severus' fist clasped Dumbledore's beard and began pulling, and pulling, and pulling in time to his thrusts, which were growing erratic and quickly losing their time with the power. _Holy fucking shit, he is going to split my ass in two_ Dumbledore thought, knowing his greasy parter would climax soon and loving every second of the gay pain that comes with large cocks and tiny assholes.

Suddenly, a great lumbering shadow was lingering over them. It's a giant, green ogre, Dumbledore initially thought. Then it opened it's mouth and spoke:

"'Ey, me and donkey here have seem to have gotten lost on the way to save the princess. Can you— ahhhh" Dumbledore saw the thing become affected by the horniness spell- and he realized it was not just an ogre as he had originally thought but it was Shrek- and Shrek was love. Shrek was life. Shrek was also unlacing his breeches to let Mr. Happy out of his pants.

"To me," Dumbledore shrieked, anxious for a chance to lay with the amazing ogre. Instead, Shrek latched onto Hagrid and the two began going at it in a way that was more passionate than Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

Donkey, who had burst into the scene with Shrek, had begun boning Hermionie. Everything was so great, and everyone was having sex, and it was an orgy worth remembering, and Severus was still pounding his ass and-

And-

And _Oh God. SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE! _Dumbledore screamed it loud, and the others chorused it back to him like some perverted sex prayer.

Dumbledore was climaxing, and climaxing hard, his whole body contorting in pleasure-filled contractions as he spilled his seed all across everything. Severus dumped his load in Dumbledore's booty. _My stocking soooo got filled this year_, Dumbledore thought hysterically.

Oh God, it was wonderful. It was amazing. Dumbledore went limp, and like any other guy ever in the history of the world, passed out and went to sleep right where he laid, with the last thought of how fucking sexy everything was.

Then he woke up. He had a massive hangover, and everyone was passed out around him as well. He vomited onto a passed out Severus' face and pulled out his wand.

"Expecot forgettum!" He murmured. There'd be time and time to do this all again, and Dumbledore smiled at another sweet chance for an orgy with Shrek.


End file.
